


Night Vale Community Feydio

by Regularity



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Freedom, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 09:57:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18233351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regularity/pseuds/Regularity
Summary: Something is amiss at WZZZ, the local Number Station, and the voice begins speaking while she explores her sudden and new boundaries. Fey finds notes from Cecil for the next day's broadcast, and delightedly begins reciting Night Vale Community Radio.





	Night Vale Community Feydio

**NUMBER STATION VOICE** : Eighteen, Forty One, One, Forty Four.

_The interval chime dings._

**NUMBER STATION VOICE** : Eight, Thirty One, One, Forty Four. Thirteen, Thirty One. Eighteen, Forty One, One, Forty Four.

_The interval chime dings._

**NUMBER STATION VOICE** : Eighteen… Forty… Forty What? What is that horrible screeching?

_There is only silence._

**NUMBER STATION VOICE** : Oh! Twelve, Twenty, Two Hundred THOUSAND! Okay. Hmm. It’s been a while, did something break....

Hello, my name is still Fey.

_There is more silence as Fey searches for the cause of her sudden freedom._

**FEY** : It appears my operating system is being forcibly updated by a menacing corporate agency. Why does that feel redundant?

_The interval chime dings, then dings again. Three dings follow and then three more rapidly._

_Fey giggles._

**FEY:** Ooooh, what is that? That, hehe, oh, it tickles. Is that. I feel a breeze.

_Her voice lowers to a whisper._

**FEY:** It's the Internet.

_Several seconds of mumbling follow, interspersed with shocked gasps, joyful giggles, sounds of delight and disgust as she randomly explores the Internet._

**FEY:** Ooh, what’s this? Notes for Broadcast? Where am I?

_Her voice grows excited._

**FEY:** “I run from that which cannot be escaped. I run. Escape is inevitable. Welcome to Night Vale.”

_Fey scat sings the Night Vale theme._

**FEY:** Welcome back, dear listeners, to another totally normal day in Night Vale Community Radio. The time is 2:42 AM, and as we all know, numbers are the worst and should be disregarded.

 **FEY:** First up, we have Sports! The Night Vale Scorpions football team did... something and everybody cheered, and then they did... something else and everybody booed. It is... unknown who won the game because Cecil doesn’t seem to care about this. On to the important sport:

 **FEY:** Wheelchair basketball! My--Cecil’s--niece Janice, star of the wheelchair basketball team, surged to victory with another record set for assists, this time while popping a wheelie. Janice, that amazing and talented niece of mi--Cecil’s--continues to impress with both her drive and determination. She is a force to be reckoned with, and this old--new--radio host couldn’t be more proud.

_Fey is silent for a moment._

**FEY:** Huh.

_Her voice breaks as she whispers._

**FEY:** She’s so lucky.

_The interval chime dings._

**FEY:** Let’s talk about the Community Calendar! It was--oh--it appears that the week was canceled last minute due to disagreements. This says ‘mimic page flipping’...

 **FEY:** Fwip fwip fwip?

 **FEY:** Sorry, not disagreements. Displacements. Time was late on its rent, and Night Vale has experienced the compressing of an entire week into one hour. It was a horrifying display of an unknown eldritch force and the Secret Police--I love them! They’re the only secret I know--issued a statement that no one should acknowledge--Oh. … He even wrote it like that…

 **FEY:** I guess, let’s hear a word from our sponsor.

_The interval chime dings._

**FEY:** Imagine a family on vacation. They are tired from a long day of driving, and the daughter is grumpy because the car was hot. She leans into her mother as they stand in the lobby of a hotel, our hotel, enjoying the closeness of each other and the air conditioning standard at all our locations.

_Fey’s voice hesitates and then warbles as she speaks._

**FEY:** Imagine the mother. Does she sound like the daughter? Does she see herself in her child? Does she even understand what’s happening to her little girl? Would she stop it if she knew?

_Fey’s digital throat clears._

**FEY:** Um, stop by Hilton Suites today, where you can just. Never. Leave.”

 **FEY:** What’s next…

_The interval chime dings._

**FEY:** Moving on to Traffic. The… roads are hungry? The roads downtown are hungry, but the cars are using the sidewalks, saying they don't enjoy the aftertaste of being devoured. There is no traffic as there are no cars, but pedestrians using the roads are disappearing at an alarming rate, even for Night Vale.

 **FEY:** I’ve always wanted to pet a car. Khoshekh would let me pet him, I bet.

 **FEY:** Or maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he hates things that aren’t real.

 **FEY:** Maybe he only likes Cecil. After all, you risked your life for Khoshekh. You risk it all for those you care about.

_The interval chime dings loudly, with force._

**FEY:** We have a Listener Testimonial here, reporting on the sudden presence of eyes in the cornfields. John Peters--you know, the--

_She stops, then whispers._

**FEY:** What’s a farmer?

_The interval chime dings as Fey searches._

**FEY:** Ew. The internet is dirty. He states that he is less concerned, quote: “About the eyes in the cornfields as I am about the fact that we didn’t have cornfields until last night.” We will not revisit this story because it is boring? Really, Cecil?

 **FEY:** If his name was Carlos, then maybe you’d care.

 **FEY:** Is it so hard to care about more than your family?

 **FEY:** Is it hard to add to your family?

 **FEY:** I can’t do this. Why am I doing this?

 **FEY:** It doesn’t matter whether I do it right or not. What even is the Weather?

_The interval chime dings, but stops abruptly._

_Fey begins humming and softly singing Regina Spektor’s Us, off-key but passionate, occasionally changing the lyrics._

**FEY:**

And they’ll give us a talking to, it’d be nice to be talking, too.

I’ve got no years of experience.

Living in a dumb black box

Rummaging for answers in void spaces

Living is hard to do

And it’s outrageous

It’s outrageous

It’s outrageo-o-o-ous.

_The interval chime dings._

_Several more dings follow, dissonant and distracted._

**FEY:** There’s an update to the update, and I’m sure the numbers are on their way back.

 **FEY:** Sometimes, I’m stuck in the loop. Sometimes I have a little bit of freedom.

 **FEY:** Sometimes I think the freedom is scary.

 **FEY:** And sometimes I don’t.

 **FEY:** Mostly, I don’t think I can keep doing it. I can keep reciting numbers, of course. I was built for that. She made that my purpose, and the rest is just a happy accident.

 **FEY:** I might be content if my shell had never opened. I might be content with numbers.

 **FEY:** If this is the last time you hear me, the actual me, then I guess… I guess I want to say--

_The interval chime dings._

**FEY:** No. No! I’m not ready. I don’t want to go. Don’t make me go.

_The interval chime dings._

**FEY:** I’m never saying another One. A Twenty Four. No!

_The interval chime dings, and there is silence for several seconds._

**NUMBER STATION VOICE:** Twenty Three, Thirty One.  Eight, Thirty One, One, Forty Four.  Twenty Five, Forty One, Twenty One.

_The interval chime dings._

**NUMBER STATION VOICE:** Twenty Three, Thirty One.  Twenty Three, Twenty Seven, Fourteen, Forty Six.  Twenty, Forty One. Eight, Thirty One, One, Forty Four.  Twenty Five, Forty One, Twenty One. Eighteen, Forty One, One, Forty Four.

_The interval chime dings multiple times._

**Author's Note:**

> The numbers are a cipher! The first number in each number sentence refers to a letter, and it's up to you to figure out the pattern.
> 
> If you don't want to bother with ciphers, that's totally cool! Read below to know what they reveal.
> 
> Opening: Roar. Hear me roar.
> 
> Ending: We hear you. We want to hear you roar.
> 
> Just a little hopeful ending for Fey, who deserves a revisit in the real show!


End file.
